Paul Ryan dusts off his car as he prepares for retirement – realizes animals ate it

House Speaker Paul Ryan got a rather unpleasant surprise while preparing for his retirement from Congress.

While checking on his personal vehicle, Ryan found out the automobile had been “eaten by animals.”

Reality Strikes

In political terms, Paul Ryan is old blood.

While only 48-years-old, he has been in public office for almost two decades.

In other words, he is a member of the elite that has never had a “real job” in his life.

That reality came crashing home when he checked his personal vehicle.

As Speaker, Ryan has a security detail that drives him everywhere.

And yes, they are paid for by taxpayers.

That being the case, it has been several years since Ryan has actually had to drive his personal vehicle.

His Suburban has been sitting at his mother’s home for about three years, only occasionally being started.

When his mother went out to turn it over recently, it didn’t start, so Ryan sent it over to the mechanic to find out what was wrong.

That is when he found out some woodchucks decided to use his Chevy as their entrée.


Up until a couple of months ago, it was assumed Ryan would continue to represent Wisconsin’s First District.

However, Ryan and Trump are not exactly seeing eye-to-eye, subjecting Ryan to significant backlash.

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Ryan says he is retiring because he wants to spend more time with his children, but most believe Trump’s presidency is far more to blame.

While the establishment is in panic mode to find Ryan’s replacement, Trump supporters are applauding the fact that one more member of the D.C. swamp is leaving office.

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